Damn! Is it that time of year again? Ugh! Great! I’ve gotta make yet another resolution I probably won’t keep.

Some people have super-elaborate resolutions that dig deep into their soul. They meditate on these things and sing kumbyya everyday in hopes of maintaining the gusto to push forward with it. Not me. My resolution is simple and popular: lose weight. Not a ton, just 20 lbs. Shouldn’t be too hard. But I’ve had the same 20 lb resolution for two years running. Wait…make that three years running. Insert heavy sigh.

But at least I’m not all by my lonesome. According to David Junno, Psy.D.:
• 25% of New Year’s resolutions will be abandoned in the first 15 weeks
• The average number of times a New Year’s resolution is made is 10
• Those who manage to make a resolution that lasts for 6 months or more have often tried 5 or 6 times before finally succeeding

That’s slightly comforting, but not enough, since I’m still not happy with these 20 lbs. I’m not trying to turn three years into four years, much less the reported ten years. So I came up with a plan of action. This plan might help you out too, espescially if you’re part of the Broken Resolution Club like me.

Look Cute When You’re Working Out

No sense in lecturing you about how you’ve got to work out. You already know that much. The issue is staying motivated to keep it going. I find I am much more inspired to work out when I replace the big frumpy tshirts and sweatpants with some sleek workout gear. Nothing fancy, perhaps some track-style pants and jacket to match. You know, warm up gear. It’s a lot easier to keep it going when you like what’s you looking back at your during your 6:15 step aerobics class. You don’t have spend a fortune — WalMart and Target both have cute, inexpensive attire.

You’ve come a long way, baby.

We most certainly have. Powerful female role models, (relatively) equal pay, televised tampon commercials, and the freedom to wear pants. On top of it all, the ability to pursue a career — any career. We’re supposed to embrace that freedom and power, carve out own way in the world, make our own money. All by ourselves. Without help, and surely, without the help of a man.

I will leave the serious dissertations on modern feminism to others — the justification of the housewife, the resurgence of the stay at home mom, being valued for cherishing the role of mothers, placing family above career… That is an ideological debate on values, femininity, freedom of choice, and power.

This article is on money.

While I embrace my self-reliant, self-assured Alpha Woman ideal, allow me to fantasize about “the good life” and play devil’s advocate for a moment.

Marry For Money?

Go ahead, scoff at your Anna Nicole Smiths, your Heather Millses, your Kevin Federlines. But let’s have a look at the positive side. After all, marrying for money can’t be all bad, can it?

For starters, you can quit your day job. Come on, you know you want to. Unless you’re in some wildly fantastic position like Oprah or Jennifer Lopez or Hilary Clinton, you’re probably in a less-than-perfect professional scenario. Well, now that you’ve married Mr. Big, you can finally tell your boss what time it is. Besides, isn’t working overrated and unnatural? Imagine having the choice between lounging on the beach drinking Mai Tais, or sitting in your uncomfortable, non-ergonomic chair in a stuffy office with mediocre coffee and hospital lighting. Which would you prefer?

If you want to get ahead, you have to hit the books. That’s true in school, and probably even more so once you’ve graduated and nobody’s holding your hand anymore, telling you what to read and giving you good grades for it. Every endeavor or profession has its requisite reading material, but here’s a list of must-reads for success at anything.

1. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie – It’s best to go ahead and get this one out of the way up front. Especially if you’re trying to make your foray into the business world, chances are this book has influenced anyone you’re trying to befriend or influence. It’s really intended to help people in sales and marketing, but these days a big part of success in anything, whether you’re an artist or a web programmer, is being able to promote yourself. It used to be called putting your best foot forward. Now it’s called “building your personal brand.” Whatever it is, this book will help you figure out how to do it.

2. The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho – This is a really great read, and quick, too. This fictional story of a young shepherd’s quest for his destiny isn’t written for professional success, but the personal inspiration you’ll feel after reading it could certainly be applied to your career. Achieving one’s personal best is a major theme of this book, as is the notion that what we want and what we need is not always the same thing. Americans put this book in the realm of literature, but the author is regarded as more of a self-help writer in his native Brazil. Po-tay-to/Po-tah-to. Whatever. I just know it’ll make you feel like you can do anything.

It’s Friday night, and you’re off to check out that trendy new club downtown. Or maybe you’ve scored a first date with that hot new guy. Perhaps you’re planning to surprise your long-time lover with a sexy treat when he walks in the door.

No matter what you’ve got planned, if you have any brains at all you’re not running around at the last minute looking for the perfect outfit, or shoes that match those capris exactly. You’re not experimenting with your hair at a salon you’ve never tried before.

The secret to making a great impression is planning ahead.

Planning ahead is especially important when it comes to wine. Like your shoes, your cell phone, or that amazing Frida Kahlo on your wall, the wine you serve says a lot about you. Sure, you can rush to the store at the last minute and grab whatever the clerk says goes with nachos and steak or chicken dijon, but do you really trust some random hireling to make a style statement for you?

Stored properly, wine doesn’t spoil, and usually only improves with age. Good wines increase in value as they age, too, making them a good investment. Here are a few classy wines you can stock, with suggestions about when to pull them out:

Essential Red Wines

Beaujolais is a great all-around red wine. Fruity and fun, it’s the blue jeans of wine. You can’t go wrong with Georges Duboeuf, the largest producer of Beaujolais. His beautiful flower labels are easily recognizable in the wine shop. For ten dollars or less, you’ve got a great accompaniment to hamburgers, pizza, or any snack from cheese to cheez doodles.

Merlot is another must-have red: full-bodied, with flavors of berry and a hint of chocolate. Serve it with meat, pasta, stew, or hearty fish, like tuna. Marilyn Merlot, released every year on June 1 (Marilyn’s birthday), is a gorgeous example. The wine is as seductive as the label, which features a different image of the starlet every year. The 2005 vintage, released in 2008, goes for $27. (1985 is selling right now for $3800; 1989 for $3000. A bottle every year on your birthday might be a better investment than an IRA.)

Your best friend just came out to you. No, she’s not gay. She doesn’t have a terminal illness either. It’s much worse than that—she’s decided to go vegetarian!

Oh, the agony of losing a fellow carnivore…! These veggie-freaks are everywhere nowadays! You keep hearing about these people who eat a plant-based diet excluding meat, poultry, and fish at your workplace and on the news. They say there are hundreds of thousands of them in America, and millions worldwide! And now the craze has hit your love life and it’s thrown your perfectly carnivorous world into tumult.

But fear not, dear meat lover! I’ve got your back and I’m here to walk you through the loss and confusion that is losing a fellow carnivore to “the other side”.

The 7 Stages of Dealing with a Vegetarian

Stage One: Shock: What? Huh? You thought she liked steak… Why is she doing this to you? It used to be fun hanging with her. You’d follow up a night of dancing with some classic drunk food – hot dogs, burgers, tacos. You’d treat yourselves to a classy dinner on a Friday night, clinking glasses over two plates of filet mignon, toasting a well-earned meal after a hard week. And now she’s not having it. She’s all picky about what she’s willing to eat – she even asked the waiter what the base of the soup was! What gives?

How to cope: Here’s the lowdown: Unlike other diets, vegetarianism isn’t taken on after a nausea-inducing step on a scale. She’s probably thought it out and done some research. Vegetarians tend to base their decision to go meatless on three main grounds: moral (animal rights), environmental (many consider eating meat to be unsustainable for the planet), or health (she wants to avoid getting high cholesterol, heart disease, diabetes, etc.). See? Those are some serious reasons—and plenty of fuel to get her reading labels and asking questions, so get used to that!

Stage Two: Denial: “Sure, she’s vegetarian now, but just wait until the next Fourth of July BBQ or office luncheon rolls around. We’ll see then,” you smugly mutter to your buddies, sharing a laugh at her goody-good expense.