You can run, and you *can* hide…



Carrie says: When I’m not up for small talk. I duck around the corner at the grocery store if I see someone who I know but I am too tired to chat. Yes, I admit it.
 



Danielle says: I hide when I’m angry. Sometimes that’s good – I’m learning to cool down before I press “send.” But really it would also be growthful if I respected my anger like I respect my other “nice” feelings, and let it have some space to be seen and heard…and thus, possibly even respected.
 

Read today’s blog: 11 Tips for being PRODUCTIVELY creative!

Creativity for the sake of creativity is such a beautiful thing. To let go and explore with no end goal, no expressed purpose other than to relish in the divine nature of it all.

But wait, who’s that calling? The landlord? Your investors? Reality?

When your livelihood is based on your creative output – you need to keep moving in the right direction. Around our studio, if we’re not productively creative, we don’t pay the rent. So fostering creativity that works is a primary intention.

(left: Carrie’s current inspiration board, on a burlap-covered canvas.)

CREATIVITY THAT PROSPERS

1. APPROACH EVERYTHING AS A CREATIVE OPPORTUNITY. There is no separation between life and work. The same opportunities to express yourself or get great ideas are at the dinner table and on the production line.

I always wear a kimono when I’m hiking in the desert. That’s what Sacred Dramatic does.

When we were conceptualizing our own  shots for the Style Statement book, I wanted to project some serious Goddess-ness.

We blew a lot of money for this shoot. Six of us over-nighted it in nowhere BC (we couldn’t afford to fly us all to Taos, New Mexico) and endured ankle deep mud and chilling winds. (Well, I endured the wind, everyone else wore parkas.) I stood on hills with my sleeves bellowing. I prayed under the sky. I rocked the part.

And I scrapped the photos.

They are beautiful shots, no doubt. Gregory Crow is an artist. But ultimately, they didn’t say “Goddess” to me. They said “eccentric chick in the desert in a kimono.” Some of them said, “Obi Wan Kanobi.” Others said, “Buddhist on the run.”

Goddesses are always prepared to go back to the drawing board.

We did a second shoot a few weeks later. In-studio. Just three of us with some Jamiroquai playing on a rainy day. We got the shot. My portrait in the Style Statement book is just…me, giving all the shaktipat I could muster for the moment.

One thing I know for sure, Goddesses look you in the eye.

. . . . . . . .

What is The Goddess Experiment? I’m wondering what will shift or bloom or go bust in my psyche if I very intentionally envision God in female form. For the next 21 days, including weekends, I’m going to actively re-frame He into She. His Highness into Her Highness. I’m collecting images that speak to me of God-dess.

Please join in. I may post what you send. Just to…see.

The conversation that was sparked on my review of Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein’s documentary, The Business of Being Born, was a heated one.

Basically, it went like this:

1. “Ricki Lake bases her advocacy of homebirth on mistruths, half truths and outright lies. Don’t let her fool you.” – Dr. Amy
2. “I’m not fooled by Ricki Lake. And I’m not fooled by stats either. There is a problem with how birth is approached in North America.” – Danielle
3. “Women cannot make conscious choices and be empowered when they are fed mistruths, half truths and outright lies.”- Dr. Amy
4. “Empowered women’s health and wellness can only take root when girls and women are taught to love and accept our bodies for the amazing eco-systems that they are.” - Laura
5. “No, birth has been considered agonizing across time, place and culture!!! This is not a matter of personal opinion. It is irrefutable fact.” – Dr. Amy.

This is my Goddess Group. We ADORE, I mean ADORE each other. Our formation was unwitting. Last year, Goddess L put a shout out to a bunch of cool women to the effect of, “We’re all busy professionals who don’t socialize enough. So bring something to eat next Friday at my place and let’s see what happens.” Many planned to come. Cars broke down, baby sitters didn’t show, life happened and it came down to just the five us for potluck. We knew of each other but we didn’t all necessarily really know each other.

(Photo left: Here we are in wild scarves that Goddess DH knit for all of us.)

We could not be more different. We’re all white Canadian chicks, but we score high on diversity points. And, we could not be more thrilled to have found each other. I love that we have little history but we can see a far future together.

We meet about once a month for an evening and we talk-share-cry-pee our pants- laughing, give no-holds-barred advice, swamp clothes and music and books, pour our hearts out and sit on the edge of our seats to listen to each other. In the last year we have been through resignations, evaluations, miscarriages, up and down marriages, break ups, break throughs and victories galore. The Goddesses are my rudder and my harbour. I look forward to our gathering as much as any spa date, or fast-breaking chocolate Sunday.

Every Goddess needs her Goddesses.

. . . . . . . .

What is The Goddess Experiment? I’m wondering what will shift or bloom or go bust in my psyche if I very intentionally envision God in female form. For the next 21 days, including weekends, I’m going to actively re-frame He into She. His Highness into Her Highness. I’m collecting images that speak to me of God-dess.

Please join in. I may post what you send. Just to…see.

A good life is based on good habits. It really is that simple. And who better to inspire us to cultivate what works than ZenHabits creator, Leo Babauta? He’s the great mindfulness behind today’s Daily Q&A.



Carrie says: A day filled with moving, creating, connecting, eating and solitude is my bliss. A run at dawn, Earl Grey tea, a rich conversation, treasure hunting and quiet appreciation.
 



Danielle says:

1. Creativity: I write to feel connected to life. Take a picture. Make a card. Change up art objects on the fireplace mantle.
2. Strategy: deeply, madly relish the sweat and intellect (sweatillect?) it takes to create a thriving business.
3. Reflection: spiritual text, including poetry. Some fire breathing. Hot baths. Drive home without the stereo cranked.
4. Affection: verbal and physical – this includes smiling eye contact with strangers.
5. Sexy-love-fun-joy-generating: dancing, bad jokes, general debauchery and loudness in my home.

(Note to self: must create more of #3 and #5.)

 



Leo says: This is an easy one for me, because I’ve identified the Essential Things in my life, and built my life around them: writing, reading, running and spending time with my family (not in that order). Every day, I do all four of these things, and they take up a majority of my day. I’ve slowly simplified my life to make room for these Essential Things by eliminating everything that’s not on my list. That’s taken a couple years to achieve, but now I live a simple life filled with the things I love!
 

Get Zen-inspired on today’s blog: Read our interview with Zenhabits’ Leo Babauta, and Danielle’s Pleasure Priorities.

Even Socrates, who lived a very frugal and simple life, loved to go to the market. When his students asked about this, he replied, “I love to go and see all the things I am happy without.”

My life feels a whole lot easier than it did a year ago. (I mean, look at me – smiling, surrounded with white space…I had all the time in the world to pose for this great photo.)

Like most wide-spread change it’s an ensemble of little things that has created Big Ease for me. My life is fuller, more demanding, and the stakes are higher than ever. But I managed to make things easier even as they got more complicated. I simply had to if I was going to thrive. Sanity. It’s a beautiful thing.

Easy living really gets down to this:
1. Prioritizing pleasure and desire. Out of what needs to be done, what do you do best? (”Best” has to include what’s best for you. Sometimes we’re great at things that don’t give us joy.) This question is so important I just have to repeat it: Out of what needs to be done, what do you do best?
2. Creating space - both physical and mental.
3. Relieving pressure. If something (or someone) is creating resentment and constant annoyance – put a stop to it.

A note about money and ease: some the things I do in my life to make things easier cost money – a house cleaner, organic meat and veggies, an extra power cord or two – it ALWAYS proves to be worth it. I save on gas, stress, and as importantly, time to do things that make me happy and prosperous in every way. Investing in my joy always has the greatest, most lasting return.

The surest way to create meaningful content is to be sincere and informed. Lived experience and good intentions always shine out and out. The best teachers are the committed seekers.

And that’s why we good ‘n truly love Leo Babauta’s daily ZenHabits. He’s a normal guy who committed to the Essential Things and made space for the best of life to fill his days – one good habit at a time.

And there’s more heartening news, Zenhabits has 68,200 subscribers. (I’m one of them.) May the world go Zen.

Leo, you’ve made some big, life-affirming changes in a fairly short amount of time. What inspired you to make so many new choices?
I started by quitting smoking, and the success I had there transformed me, woke me up to the possibilities of changing my habits and through my habits my life. I then started running, then waking earlier, then eating healthier, then eliminating my debt…and with each successive success, I was inspired to do more. The process hasn’t stopped—it’s been one transformation after another, each inspiring the next.

How do you know when you’re inspired?
When you can’t sit still, and you just have to take action or talk to somebody or read as much as you can or start writing.

How do you get things done?
One thing at a time. Simplify your to-do list to 3 things a day, focus on just the most important things, and get them done by focusing on one at a time.

What are the tools of your trade?
I work almost entirely online. My tools are Firefox, Gmail, WordPress, Google Docs, Google Calendar, Delicious bookmarks, most recently Twitter. The desktop apps I use most are TextEdit (for off-line writing) and Quicksilver, because it’s awesome. Other than that, I use a Moleskine notebook for jotting things down and making lists.

What do you collect, or have a lot of?
Nothing. I don’t collect things anymore—I’ve gotten rid of so many things. The exception might be books, but even then I continually prune my library and donate used books to charities or used book stores. The only thing I try to collect is love, and I’m surrounded by it.

[Photo left, surrounded by love. Clearly, Leo also collects kids...he and his wife made six of them!]

.

.

What books, movies, or CDs have been most helpful or inspiring to you?
Boy oh boy. I could write a whole book just on the books I love. Non-fiction books include: The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama, Living the Simple Life by Elaine St. James, Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, Getting Things Done by David Allen, Gandhi’s autobiography, Zen Mind Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki, and The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss.

[Check out Leo's 50 Amazing and Essential Novels to Enrich Your Library]

I am a huge movie fan, from the classics to film noir to the Coen brothers, but the movie, Gandhi was probably most inspirational for Zen Habits.

Inspirational music that puts me in a Zen Habits state of mind include Weezer, Jack Johnson, Radiohead, the Shins, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Snow Patrol, Feist, Ben Harper, and Nora Jones.

What would you like to revolutionize?
The way people see themselves. Many people feel powerless to change their lives, but I’ve discovered and I’ve proven that it’s possible to take control, to change your habits one at a time, to simplify your life, and to find happiness. Many people see the negatives in themselves, but if they learned to see the positives, they’d be transformed. Many people think that they have no control over the outside world, but if they realize that other things—from negative people to corporations to governments—only have power over them if they concede that power, they will realize that all power resides in them.

. . . . . . . . .

www.Zenhabits.net
C&D blog: Danielle’s 19 Easy Livin’ Tips
C&D blog: Socrates’ simplicity quote
C&D video blog: Anti-consumption, baby!

Dear Carrie & Danielle,

I first saw Style Statement on Gretchen Rubin’s “The Happiness Project” blog. I was fascinated and ordered the book as soon as it was available for pre-order.

The first thing I did with my copy was skim the Style Vocabulary. Elemental caught my attention, so I read the definition in full. As soon as I read the definition, I knew that Elemental would be one of my words; it was so very very me.

STYLE STATEMENT COACHING
So you’ve got a Style Statement? Congratulations! How about a little insight into how to really make it work for you? A bit of cheer leading, a few helpful tips, and some deep listening and reflection. Sound like what you need to give your authenticity a power boost?

Carrie is now offering 30 minute Style Statement coaching calls for people who have had a personal session with one of us, or have created their own Style Statement through the book, or are in the midst of working through the book and need just a little steering to cross the finish line. The cost is $250, and includes a signed copy of our book. Sessions are held on Fridays, exclusively on the telephone.

To book your coaching session with Carrie, email us at stylestatement@carrieanddanielle.com.

STYLE STATEMENT REFERRALS

If you refer someone to us for a Style Statement session, you will receive the Style Statement Coaching for $125, and a signed copy of the book.

A-ha! I’ve found a Goddess that is as inspiring to me as Saraswati and Wonder Woman: Estsanatlehi. She is the “Changing Woman.”

According to the Navajo legend, Estanatlehi created the first man and woman from pieces of her own skin. That’s as close to the creative source that my Goddess search has brought me thus far. She meets her husband, the Sun god Tsohanoai, every night as he sets. This is good – she has her own day job and hangs with her man at night. Smart. I’m liking this. It is also believed she becomes old each winter and young each spring, just as the Earth does with the changing seasons. Even better. And she also answers to Turquoise Woman. Turquoise is my favourite stone (the minty blue kind with brown desert flecks…ahhh.) It must be a sign. I’m getting closer to God-dess.

I just wish I knew how to pronounce her name.

. . . . . . . .

What is The Goddess Experiment? I’m wondering what will shift or bloom or go bust in my psyche if I very intentionally envision God in female form. For the next 21 days, including weekends, I’m going to actively re-frame He into She. His Highness into Her Highness. I’m collecting images that speak to me of God-dess.

Please join in. I may post what you send. Just to…see.

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

~ Howard Thurman

The book Initiation tipped me off to thinking about other hot stuff priestess types in literature. Which led me back to Mists of Avalon and one of my favourite She Power fairies, Morgaine LeFay. I was so impressed with her enchantress powers, that I named my dog after her. How’s that for an honour?

Morgaine (sometimes Morgan or Morgana) can be portrayed as the villian or a heroine (hazards of being a sourceress, I guess.) The half sister of King Arthur of Camelot, and a student of Merlin, the positive spin on Morgaine is that she fought tirelessly for pagan rights against Christian repression. You could say, she used every trick in the book.

Goddesses so hate to be reigned in.

. . . . . . . .

What is The Goddess Experiment? I’m wondering what will shift or bloom or go bust in my psyche if I very intentionally envision God in female form. For the next 21 days, including weekends, I’m going to actively re-frame He into She. His Highness into Her Highness. I’m collecting images that speak to me of God-dess.

Please join in. I may post what you send. Just to…see.

The book Initiation is one of the most effectual, powerful stories and metaphysical teachings I’ve ever read. Above Eckhart Tolle, beyond Ken Wilber, and right next to my favourite teacher, Krishnamurti. It’s one of those books that feels like a it chose you as a member of it’s sect and to read it to be initiated.

From the author, Elisabeth Haich’s website:
Written at the request of her advanced students, Initiation is an illuminating autobiography that connects the twentieth century European life of internationally beloved teacher Elisabeth Haich and her lucid memories of initiation into the hidden mystical teachings of the priesthood in ancient Egypt.

A compelling story within a story emerges detailing the life experiences that catalyzed her spiritual path. In an earlier life in ancient Egypt, a young woman is prepared for initiation into the esoteric secrets of the priesthood of the High Priest Ptahhotep, who instructs her step-by-step, consistent with her development, in the universal truths of life.

Throughout this extraordinary book, Elisabeth Haich reveals her in-depth insights into the subtle workings of karma, reincarnation, the interconnectedness of individual daily life choices and spiritual development. Elisabeth Haich shares usually hidden truths that only a few rare individuals in any generation, seek, find and communicate to others…

Initiation had a profound impact me, which I hadn’t recalled until I started thinking of God-as-Woman imagery. I’m so glad I remembered.

. . . . . . . .

What is The Goddess Experiment? I’m wondering what will shift or bloom or go bust in my psyche if I very intentionally envision God in female form. For the next 21 days, including weekends, I’m going to actively re-frame He into She. His Highness into Her Highness. I’m collecting images that speak to me of God-dess.

Please join in. I may post what you send. Just to…see.

I’ve been wondering about Goddess initiations. But that would presuppose that you became a Goddess, and weren’t born a Goddess. Maybe Goddesses come of age. Like a Goddess-mitzvah. You party down with other Goddesses. Your chakras go pa-zow. And then you get your official Goddess gown and get back to work in the real world.

(I’d love to credit the creator of this image, but couldn’t find it’s origin.)

. . . . . . . .

What is The Goddess Experiment? I’m wondering what will shift or bloom or go bust in my psyche if I very intentionally envision God in female form. For the next 21 days, including weekends, I’m going to actively re-frame He into She. His Highness into Her Highness. I’m collecting images that speak to me of God-dess.

Please join in. I may post what you send. Just to…see.

Casting a critical eye on our weaknesses and working hard to manage them, while sometimes necessary, will only help us prevent failure. It will not help us reach excellence.
- Marcus Buckingham & Donald Clifton

I’ve been coming to a liberating realization this year (thanks in part to my Buddhist shrink). In the interest of being compassionate, productive, and generally liked, I’ve unconsciously rounded off some of my edges – like my sharp tongue, my exceedingly high standards, and my deepest sensitivities. If I were truly evolving, I think to myself, I would learn to love cooking, budgeting, and Vipassana meditation. But I don’t, and I likely won’t. So #%*@ well-rounded! As it turns out, my edges are my greatest strengths.
- Danielle

THIS WEEK: Explore your strengths and your weaknesses. Make a list of each. Next to your strengths, write two or three ways you can maximize your assets – a workshop, a different role at work, a reading group related to the subject you shine in. And as for your weaknesses – admit to them. Treat them like house guests who’ve worn out their welcome – lovingly but firmly. Time to move on. You have strengths to cultivate.

We highly recommend a wonderful assessment system called StrengthsFinder. There are a number of books based on this, such as: Now, Discover Your Strengths (Buckingham & Clifton), and StrengthsFinder 2.0 (Rath). Each new book provides a unique, one-time access code that allows you to take an on-line test to assess your signature strengths.

Quan Yin is like the Buddhist cousin of Mother Theresa. The girl from the right side of the tracks in comparison to Wonder Woman. She “hears the cries of the world.”

As a Bodhisattva, she “vowed to remain in the earthly realms and not enter the heavenly worlds until all living things have become enlightened, and thus liberated from the pain-filled cycle of birth, death, and rebirth.” It’s a sort of the “leave no soldier behind” approach to Goddesship. It’s full tilt commitment to earth motherhood. Admirable.

But…I need more Yang to fire up the Yin. My image of God as She is air and fire.
. . . . . . . .

What is The Goddess Experiment? I’m wondering what will shift or bloom or go bust in my psyche if I very intentionally envision God in female form. For the next 21 days, including weekends, I’m going to actively re-frame He into She. His Highness into Her Highness. I’m collecting images that speak to me of God-dess.

Please join in. I may post what you send. Just to…see.

Sometimes a promise is like a lightbulb that goes off in your being, “I will not…” “I will do…” Sometimes it’s like a sprout that cracks through the soil to say that things are now new and they’re going to grow in the right direction. Any way a promise is declared, sticking to it can make very big things happen.



Carrie says: When I finally decided that I wanted more than a fling or to “just date,” I made a promise to myself to be intimate spiritually and emotionally with someone, before physically. It worked. By the time my now-husband and I “hooked up” it was a done deal. I knew I was going to marry him.

 



Danielle says: I promised myself that I’d never do another publicity campaign for someone else’s book. I couldn’t help one more client bring their ideas to market, while my creativity was relegated to my notebook. And if I called one more producer or editor to pitch someone else’s big thinking – I was going to lose my mind. I got offers for big gigs. We needed to pay the rent. And praise God and Buddha and all of them, Carrie helped me keep my promise. “Don’t do it D, we can make something bigger happen.” And that opened the door for Style Statement to be written. Within a matter of weeks we had the book proposal outlined