It takes me back.

The waxy paper smell of a new pack of crayons hits me and I’m 4 years old. Every time.

In my case, there was a metallic top note in that scent, because I (okay, my mother) used to carry my crayons to baseball diamonds in a round cookie tin, so I could keep myself entertained on a blanket nearby while my brother played on the field. I was never without friends at baseball diamonds.

We All Remember the Smell of Crayons

I’m not the only one with spontaneous memories from the smell of crayons. I love to bring the crayons out when I am leading a creativity workshop, especially when I am with a new group for the first time. Their eyes light up and without fail, someone will bring the crayons under their nose and inhale.

Kindergarten.

I’m no fool, this is all a part of my plan.

Well, I have never been one for Christmas cards.

I love the idea of sitting by the tree and making my own cards while sipping hot cocoa and listening to Hawksley Workman’s Christmas album. I love the idea, until I start worrying about how little time I have in those precious weeks leading up to Christmas. Quickly the vision of me crafting joyfully by the fire is replaced by a vision of me panicking about running out of time, and accidentally leaving someone out of my card-giving goodness. It seemed to me that too many things could go wrong.

So I had opted out of the ritual of sending holiday cards, until I got a great idea that gave me the joy of creating cards with a lot less stress.

I send my cards AFTER Christmas

Once the big day has come and gone, I collect the cards I have received and make a list of all the people who sent cards to wish me a happy holiday. This is my Christmas card list. If they sent a card, they get a card. These are the people who will most appreciate a card in return.

I can wait until after Christmas, because I’m not sending Christmas cards, I’m sending New Year cards. And I’ll be right on time. I spend the day re-working the Christmas cards I’ve received (it is a great way to spend Boxing Day rather than buying things I don’t need) and mail them right back.

Yes, I Recycle Christmas Cards into New Years Cards. Read more for my three great reasons why this is a genius idea…

With holiday parties happening every night in December, why not do something a little different and host a breakfast party. It’s easy, kid-friendly (if you like), and let’s face it, if you haven’t been organized before now there’s little chance of getting your friends all together in one night.

How to Throw a Breakfast Party

You put on a pot of coffee and have all the must-have morning beverage components on hand: milk (regular, almond or soy), cream, sugar, honey, tea and juice. Some real maple syrup, peanut butter and a couple kinds of jam are excellent staples to supply as well. You make one dish, fill a basket with muffins and wait for your friends to arrive. I tend to tell guests “anytime after 10am.” Of course, if you want to offer booze, mimosas are an early morning favorite.

Make it a Pajama Party

I’ve had breakfast parties where I put the pajama dress code into effect, and it certainly brought the mood into a nice relaxed place. And though most people came in yoga pants and jeans, some guests really did come across town on the streetcar in flannel with a bag of pancake mix and a quart of blueberries.

If you have ever bought a house, planned a wedding, taken a vacation, changed careers, or made other major decisions, you have most likely been faced with enthusiastic friends and family members who start a conversation with these words:

You Know What You Should Do?

You probably have also heard plenty of people say you have to (try someone else’s favorite restaurant) or you are going to love (someone else’s favorite movie or book). My personal favorite is “you know what you need?” in regards to your health, your relationship, your personal time.

When someone asks “do you know what you need?” they are usually saying I know what you need and I’m about to tell you.

Why Unwanted Advice is Annoying

Unwanted advice is annoying because there is an assumption made that you do not know what you need, what you want, what you should do, and you need to be told by someone else. That doesn’t feel very good.

Beyond annoying, unwanted advice is distancing. If you stopped giving unwanted advice, it could revolutionize your relationships. If other people stopped giving you unwanted advice, you might feel more respect and compassion for those people.

In my work as a life coach, I witness the magic that happens when people feel listened to. We all know what we need, if we take the time to listen to ourselves. Having someone else really listen to what is true for you feels wonderful. It feels like you are trusted and capable. It is empowering to share our perspective and to be heard.

At the heart of this is one very important step that everyone giving unsolicited advice is missing:

I remember when I first laid eyes on her.

It was years ago, a sunny morning in a wooded area north of the city on the last day of theOM Festival. She wore a short torn dress, giant sunglasses, and leg warmers. Her hair was in dread locks, her feet were bare and dirty. Somehow I always imagine her with animal ears, though I can’t be sure if that was just my imagination. She danced in slow sensual sweeps to the wildly fast music, every 16th beat she would raise a shoulder, arch her back or stir her hips.

There were hundreds of people dancing in the sun, as I sat watching on the hill. But I couldn’t take my eyes off the dancer with the hula hoop.

Do you ever find yourself wandering the aisles at a craft store, looking at all those different shaped boxes and mini shelves made of wood and cardboard and wondering, what on earth would I do with that when I finished it? Here is one idea, which makes a personal and useful gift for a loved one.

A Birthday Box

It’s like a recipe box, but instead of dividers for salads, mains and desserts, you have tabs for each of the 12 months. There are index cards in the box, filed under the appropriate month and ordered by date (I put mine in the top right hand corner). For example, my birthday is December 7th, and so if you wanted to remember my birthday you would write up a card for me with a number seven on it and file it under December. You can also include gift ideas for me that I might mention during the year, or even keep track of what you have done for me in the past. You can jot down anything you’d like, because you can always start another index card for me once this one gets old or full.

How a Birthday Box Makes Life Easier

Just before December comes along, you can look it up in your birthday box and count how many people you know are having birthdays that month. That means only one trip to the card shop, which saves you time. Or, perhaps you’d like to set aside a craft night for yourself and make a bunch of cards for the month. No more birthdays sneaking up on you, which is nice.

You’re not stabbing, you’re carving. You are not crazy, you are creative. Not irrational, but passionate. Yes, that’s right. You are an artist at work.

And it’s for the kids! Of course it’s for the kids.

I’ve had a busy week. So have you. Don’t let the pressure get the best of you this week, you have an opportunity here for some serious creative self expression in the most aggressively satisfying way. This isn’t about Martha Stewart’s immaculate holiday detailing, this is about you getting messy and hacking through a gourd. Let’s roll up our sleeves and dig in. Chop-chop.

I live in a part of Toronto where the ratio of crack houses to young couples renovating their first home is shifting slowly in favor of our investment. My partner Colin was at a “meet the neighbors” pot luck a while ago, and he introduced himself to a new addition to our street, a seemingly handy guy doing some great work to the front of his house. The new guy tried to figure out which house was ours, based on Colin’s description. After a few wrong guesses, his eyes widened and he said:

“Oh! Are you guys the ones right next to that crazy Halloween house?”

Colin smiled. “Nope, that’s us. We are the crazy Halloween house.”

You don’t have to fold over those pages of your “romance” novel anymore.

Oh, and you also don’t have to cringe and pretend you didn’t just read that part about Rick’s hairy chest (if chest hair is not your thing). Nor do you have to skim your eyes across words like “manhood” and “tender mound” and ignore them.

Partly because, there really is some great erotic fiction out there. Don’t be shy.

Primarily because, you can write your own.

The Secret Shopper: Your Sexual Cocktail

Yes, you can find great erotic fiction out there and thanks to the internet, you don’t have to walk into the sex shop of your small town to get your hands on it. I certainly encourage anyone to explore the deliciously crafted stories that many talented writers put out into the world for you to enjoy.

We’re delighted to introduce you to a new C&D contributor, Danette Relic. Mistress of creative vibes and life coach.

Ah, Renaissance Soul. Sounds waaaaaay better than Commitment-Phobic-Twit. I like it.

If you are like me, in that you have a million things you love to do and never enough time to do them, keep reading.

If you are like me two years ago, in that you have not yet read The Renaissance Soul, Life Design for People with Too Many Passions to Pick Just One by Margaret Lobenstine, then seriously, keep reading. I know, you really should get back to knitting that gorgeous sweater, writing your novel, learning Japanese, rehearsing with your puppet troop and expanding your collection of gourmet cheeses, but you may thank me later. Or more likely, you may thank Margaret Lobenstine.