A Man’s Take On Natural Childbirth
When my wife first informed me that she wanted to have our first child the natural way, I was a bit fuzzy on what that exactly meant. I thought to myself, “isn’t all childbirth natural?” Ten months later we found ourselves in the delivery room walking, squatting, rocking and eventually celebrating the birth of our first born son free of any medical intervention.
This experience changed my perspective on one of the most difficult and rewarding experiences woman get to have. Now I know I’m a man and I can’t relate to PMS, never mind labor, but through the lenses of my eyes I witnessed my wife endure and overcome with great joy and genuine satisfaction. After witnessing this beautiful life emerge, I developed some strong convictions about the importance of laboring and delivering babies naturally.
The Way Grandma Did It
One of the key elements in preparing for labor that really stuck out in our minds was that woman for thousands of years have been giving birth to millions of babies without medicine. A woman’s body is designed to give birth; it’s not a mistake. Our midwives told us that they had seen 90 pound Asian women give birth to 10 pound babies without drugs. They encouraged us that not only is it possible, but it’s one of the oldest traditions of womanhood.
Drugs Cheapen the Reward
Many drugs used in labor actually slow labor down or make the delivery more drastic and painful (in the long run). For example, pitocin, which is used to accelerate or induce labor causes very painful contractions and many times leads to larger rips during the birthing process. Many women who didn’t initially want an epidural, opt for one once they’re given pitocin because of the immediate and intense pain. Once an epidural is administered, you are required to lay down, which is the best way to slow labor down. Who wants to slow it down?
Watching my wife endure and welcome each contraction was like watching my little boy score a goal in his soccer game. Like anything in life, the greater the sacrifice, the greater the reward. Once our son was born the freedom and empowerment my wife had was glorious. She was up walking around with our son, enjoying the newness of newborn life and able to fully feel every moment.
Medicine is a Business
Let’s not fool ourselves; the medical field is a very lucrative business. The shorter amount of time a doctor has to be in the delivery room, the more money he or she makes. Your OB will charge you the same price if you deliver in 14 hours or in 1 hour. If you deliver in 14 hours, his fee is divided by those hours but if he can get you in and out, he is worth his or her full charge but in only one hour. On top of that, c-sections are much more expensive than natural childbirth which gives great incentive for doctors to perform as many as they can. Unfortunately, money is the bottom line for many in the medical field.
Every woman, every pregnancy and every baby is different. You have to make your own choice in how you will give birth to your children. Natural childbirth should be the aim, but is not always attainable.
Educate yourself and research every aspect before giving your life into the medical field’s hands.
From one man who witnessed his wife do it, I know you can too.
[Photo by ||!prliignore3||]
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January 28th, 2009 at 9:54 am
I too was with my wife for all of our natural births, and it was such a beautiful, powerful and empowering experience for all of us. I'm glad you added the caveat about each birth being different, because there certainly are births in which medical intervention is the right choice – we who are now avid natural birthers often need to be reminded not to judge others who make different choices, often for good reasons.
Wouldn't it be great if unmedicated birth was once again the norm, the anticipated and hoped-for experience, and medical intervention was the if-necessary add-on?
January 28th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
My husband and I practiced natural childbirth techniques when we were preparing for the birth of our daughter. Then, with contractions three minutes apart and not progressing because my body was fighting the back labor, we decided an epidural was the best way to go.
I do not regret it. I had a wonderful birth experience and hope that our future children will come to us in similar experiences.
That said, I truly wish there hadn't been so much pressure for interventions. I was glad that the epidural was available, but everyone I knew was trying to convince me that it was the way to go long before labor ever set in. I had a similar experience with being offered a C-section due to an extremely large baby… it seemed like my husband and I were the only ones against it. It would have been a lot less stressful for me at nine months pregnant if those interventions were the exception rather than the norm.
January 28th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
I am completely offended with the section labeled, “Drugs Cheapen the Reward”. How dare anyone, male or female, tell me that by having an epidural or using pitocin, cheapens my birthing experience. I am so tired of people being holy than thou over other people's choices. This ranges from natural childbirth, breastfeeding, not eating meat, wearing fur or even being a republican or a democrat. Why do you have to put down other people's beliefs or choices, in order to make your point. I'm glad your son's birth went well and both you and your wife are happy with your birth plan decision, but don't criticize my choice in order to justify yours. You write two paragraphs on how western medicine and drugs are a bad choice and the end with your statement about every women, every pregnancy, every baby is different. Seems like an awkward attempt to wash your hands or try to please everyone in the end when you should have chosen your words better to begin with. An essay about how natural childbirth from a father's prospective would have been a better topic then the bias attack you did write.
January 28th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
In our obsessive “PC” society it is a shame that one's personal opinion always seems to offend someone.
January 28th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
So…the longer the labor is, the more you get your money's worth?? Seems like the wrong focus to have for such a magical and uncertain event. In 80% of deliveries, the doc is there to make sure that both mom and baby have a good outcome and stay healthy – they help to guide the process along. You're right; they're not always necessary. However – in the 20% of cases where you need the OB, you NEED them…not later, not in 5 minutes, NOW. Things have changed since our grandmothers gave birth – more C-sections, more options for pain relief, more technology to watch over the labor process. But outcomes have gotten a lot better too – for both mom and baby.
January 28th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
This post makes me truly sad.
January 29th, 2009 at 6:34 am
I think it comes down to personal preference…I'm not sure the author is trying to tell everyone his way is the ONLY way…everyone is entitled to their opinions. Expressing them freely is the beauty of the blogosphere.
January 29th, 2009 at 6:37 am
Oh the controversy! This is what sharpens the minds and souls of those open to reconsider the machine our society has created… more to come.
January 30th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Women have been giving birth without obstetric interventions for millions of years, but they have also been frequently dying in childbirth along with their babies for those most of years. Before demonizing “the medical field” as a big bad business, remember that fact. Birth may be natural, but it is also risky. The doctor who developed blood banking was an obstetrician who got sick and tired of watching healthy young women bleed to death during childbirth. Obstetricians work long, crazy hours for less money than you would think- to slander them as being solely driven by money is just wrong. Also, the idea that pain during childbirth is somehow noble always puzzled me- how many of these folks have surgery or dental work done without pain relief? I've never heard the term “natural dentistry”, have you? The old idea that pain in birth is a woman's natural role stems from blaming Eve for human sin-something very few modern folks would honestly embrace. Let's lose that burden and stop acting like a woman who choses pain relief and modern medicine is copping out somehow.
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:02 pm
This is in reply to Helen G's comment. For some reason the reply function is not working for me.
The main reason for the high morality rate for those “millions of years” is because of unsanitary conditions. They didn't know about washing your hands between “patients” etc. I don't believe anyone is demonizing the medical field for the science it provides. People demonize it for their greed and convenience. The health and medical industry is like most other industries nowadays…it likes it's money and it wants more. The medical field should most definitely be praised for all of the help and life saving they do. The difference with natural birthers is that they do not believe pregnancy and birth are a medical procedure. It is not an illness and our bodies know what they are doing without all of the interventions. Obviously there are exceptions. There are most definitely times when an OB is necessary and life-saving to a mother and/or child. Natural birth advocates are aware of this and generally speak of the majority of the population who are “low risk” and healthy individuals. Part of the midwife's job is to ensure the health and wellbeing of mother and child. If there is anything suspect, the midwife will refer the mother to an OB. Birth is rarely risky.
I will not bothering arguing that OBs work long hours and are not evil. There are some extremely wonderful OBs out there and there are also bad apples.
It's ridiculous to think that pain during childbirth is noble. Most people who have the natural birth experience do not consider themselves brave. We don't want to be called brave. That is a purely societal thing. I have NEVER been called brave or congratulated by handling the pain by another person who delivered without drugs. It's always been the mother who opted for pain relief that have done that.
The difference between a pain reliever during childbirth and during a dental or medical procedure is that only one person can be affected by that. There are risks that I am willing to take myself, but not my child. During pregnancy and childbirth, not only can the mother have horrible side effects, but the child can too. I will gladly take pain relief any day as long as it does not have the potential to effect my child adversely.
What everyone fails to see is most natural birth (and breastfeeding) advocates point…we simply want people to make an EDUCATED decision. If you weigh the benefits and risks and do your research and make a decision based on that, then more power to you. We are not out to make your choices for you, we just want you to see all of your choices. Society today rarely shows young women/potential mothers all sides of the coin. It's pretty simple.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:07 am
I'm glad you added the caveat about each birth being different, because there certainly are births in which medical intervention is the right choice – we who are now avid natural
April 28th, 2009 at 5:55 am
Usually this is considered that a man have nothing to do with pregnancy of his wife or girlfriend but just to make them pregnant.. lol..
but information you have provided here about men's role during child birth and precautions and tips, that are really admirable. Thanks for sharing